How long have you been wearing fanny packs?

Since I could remember. My grandma took me to Disney World when I was six. Fanny pack. Still have it around here somewhere.

Do you actually rap?

Not often anymore, but I have a legitimate album on iTunes, Spotify, etc. that has been professionally mixed. Check it out if you want. Let me know what you think.

Do you regret attempting to try out for team usa bobsled after all the injuries?

I tore my hip labrum and had it repaired. Then, I tore my meniscus and will have it surgically repaired, as well. Even after my nine years of CrossFit, I can safely say Bobsled training was more hazardous. I don't regret it, but I don't condone it. That said, dream big.


Why are you a cat guy?

I don't believe in cat people vs. dog people. This is an asinine argument meant to distract us from the sociopaths who don't like animals at all. Think about it. Also, we like to label people. It's what we do, so I get it. But, stop. Cats and dogs are gifts we don't deserve.

You wear crocs. Really?

And I will until the day I die. Please, try on a pair and report back on their comfort, versatility and durability. I'll be here with my tropical Crocs and black crew length socks. 

You live in chicago — Isn't it dangerous there?

Mom, is that you?