On Work vs. "Real" Relationships

In 2022, I had the distinct honor of officiating a former colleague’s wedding. I’d worked with her for years, serving as her manager since she started at the communications agency as an intern. From the time we met until the time I’d left, she elevated herself from entry-level employee to one of our top digital experts in the United States.

During interviews since, I’ve often been asked, “What are you most proud of from your time there?” The answer is simple: I’m most proud of being asked to officiate a colleague’s wedding. As you can imagine, that’s not a typical answer, and not one that hiring managers often receive. It has nothing to do with a PR campaign, and you won’t find it on my LinkedIn profile. There are many reasons it’s one of the top career credentials I lead with.

After spending most of my professional life at communications agencies, I can say they’re not easy to navigate. If you’re fortunate enough to work in a consulting role, you know how taxing the position can be on your personal life. You’re faced with unreasonable deadlines and insurmountable challenges every day, and you’re expected to deliver without exception. Often, you’ll do everything correctly and will still be asked to justify where you’ve spent your time. The people who are able to navigate them best do so by focusing their energy on relationships.

When you know and trust people you work with, it makes your whole life better. You spend less time in your lizard brain and more time on the work itself. You’re able to be more strategic and conceptual because you’re less worried about the terrible thing that’s sure to happen next. In short: You can breathe.

That’s why I’m so proud of being asked to officiate my colleague’s wedding. She knew that - through countless projects and prickly situations - should could rely on me to be there for her. What she doesn’t know is, I relied on her in the same way. We build these working relationships assuming they’re meant to exist between 9am and 5pm on weekdays. Few of them make it beyond the close of business.

The special business relationships - ones that pass our blood-brain barrier of work and life - should be honored at every opportunity.

(Thanks for asking me to officiate, Natalie!)